i’ve made up my mind, i’m leavin’ this town!

Today, I start moving from the Daffodil House to the Crescent House, up in the town where I work and attend school in.  Sara’s going to come over and help me move boxes and things, because I’m still supposed to let my back rest up for another day.  Once I get situated up there fully, I’m giving my stepfather his car back and I’ll be riding my bike, taking the bus, and carpooling everywhere for the summer, until I have enough saved up for a car.  I wouldn’t be able to do this in my current town, but my college and work town has some degree of public transportation, and I’ll be a twenty minute walk from both the square AND uni, so it’s perfectly doable.  :D

I love my new room.  It’s so much bigger than my current room!  It’s going to be a little tighter financially for awhile, but it’s well worth the independence.  I’m just too old to still be at home, worrying myself sick about my family’s many little issues and affairs.  Today is the day to start spreading my wings to fly!

Back to Life, Back to Reality…

Two days ago, I sprained my back.  When I was loading some measly 16 quart bags of garden soil for this old woman, a bone in my spine popped.  For the rest of the day I was in excruciating pain.  Now I’m just in mildly annoying pain, unless I try to lift something, then I’m in excruciating pain again.  The terrible throbbing in my leg from two days ago is now just a constant dull ache.  So far, I think I’ll make a full recovery shortly.  And I better:  I have to start moving this week into the house with Angela and Sara.

Also?  I am limping horribly.  I am also on restricted duty at work.  That means no bending, stooping, squatting, reaching, and certainly no lifting.  In other words, I’m useless right now at work.  So they have me at the phones.  I’m utterly bored, and yet, we were swamped with customers today, all of whom glared at me with the same exact questions in their eyes, “can’t YOU help?!”

In response to their glares, I started doodling on the scratch paper stacked neatly next to the phone.

I was so utterly bored and helpless and understimulated at work today that I think I need to level up BabaRei again in order to satiate my brain this evening.  Then I’m going to attack that room of mine a little.  After all, my friends, I’m still moving!

On a completely unrelated note, I think I have a crush on my hairstylist.  Maybe it was the husky sound of her voice, or the way she ran her fingers through my hair and across my neck today in a way that was intriguingly sensual… who knows?

I also talked to Sara today, over the phone.  I apologized for my behavior Monday.  I was, on Monday, racked by extreme frustration, anger and guilt.  I was also extremely hormonally imbalanced.

Over the last week, I’ve been thinking about Monday and, well, all the events that have happened since I first met Sara.  The first time we hung out.  The first time we actually admitted we were attracted to each other.  The first time we kissed.  The first time we did more… and more.  And I realized something: this was just one giant fling.  One that is best forgotten.  After all, she has a boyfriend, and I’m just someone to pass the time with.  After all, she has been cheating on him all this time.  I’m the extra person.  I’m the third wheel.  I’m the one who needs to go.

But it’s over now.  I have to move past this, because I can’t keep living in this horrible state of in-between.  We will be friends, good friends.  I’m good friends with Liz now, and I used to be crazy for her, too.  It’s possible.  We’ll be friends, and nothing more unless she makes some really serious decision in the future, one she’ll never make.

And, you know, in a way Sara helped me make this most recent decision.  Over the weekend (though I didn’t notice it at first) she posted this music video to my Facebook:

Sums it all up beautifully.  :)

Now, off to Maple Story!

Run, Run, Run Away

Wow.  I think I am neglecting myself.

What I mean by that is, I started this here online journal so I could be as honest and as truthful and as lengthy and as rambling as I wanted.  No one in real life knows of this blog.  People can only judge me for the intimacy awarded to me by my almost complete anonymity.  Here, I’m just another 20-something college student, soon to be living in a college town, with college friends, and college worries.  Really, that could be millions of people.  It could be your son, or your daughter, or your sister or brother, or your best friend, or YOU.

And yet, I haven’t been writing as often as current events would warrant.  Things are indeed happening, things I could write a small book about, but I’m not writing.

Blame Maple Story.  My character, BabaRei, is already at level 18.

Blame my desperate need to latch on to something that won’t shrink from my touch.  Something less fickle than I am.  Something that will cost me less than alcohol or clove cigarettes, or hooka or pot, or a number of other highly self-destructive things I know how to access and use.

I am in a mood of extreme escapism.  Mostly because of the events happening in my life right now.

So perhaps I should stop running long enough to write about them.

Yeah.  I think I’ll do just that.